Boo-Hoo

This entry is more of documentation for me than anything else, so I apologize for laying all my personal shit out there. It is not like me to let it all hang out and this is bound to get very long and boring! This weekend was a turning point in my life. As most of you that are my friends here know I recently went through a divorce. I am one of those people that fall hard when they fall. I am someone who does not ever give up easily, so to have a failed marriage has been an overwhelming disappointment in my life. I have no idea why I have had such a hard time letting go. My ex is not a very nice person, but after putting in 8 years of hard labor, I do have him changed into a much better person than when we got together. At least he finally has a few sets of morals now and his temper has calmed down a bit. Anyway, what I am saying is that I have not actually got over the relationship and he hasn’t completely either. He does have a semi-girlfriend, but since he is not working due to surgery on his arm and doesn’t get work comp, he is using her for a place to stay and eat and pay his bills(he lives an hour from here). He has been spending a lot of time at my place too and since I am in the condition I am, I have been screwing him. Being the mentally stable person I am I was sure I could separate the sex from the emotional stuff, but I was wrong(I blame the artist in me). It has been fun to have us all together as a family and the girls have really enjoyed it. My problem is that I have been enjoying it too much and have not worked very hard on moving forward with my life. I have turned down several dating possibilities because I want more than anything to be a whole family, but if he wanted the same thing, then he wouldn’t be with someone else too. I know most of his sole motivation is the fact that his girlfriend’s daddy is a millionaire, but family should come first. SO, I finally grew up and told him that I needed to get over him and that he needed to spend more time with his girlfriend and decide if she is the one that can make him happy. I also told him he could not stay at my house anymore and his time with the girls would be without me. This should give us both the opportunity to move on. I have no idea if I am doing any of the right things and I should probably seek counseling, but who has the time? Thank you for listening and have a great week!!

I have to get work done at the job I have been neglecting, so I won’t be around, but I promise to visit and get caught up with ya’ll real soon!