Eeewww!

If you read my post on Monday, you know I am harboring a fugutive kitten. Why oh why didn't I just leave the thing in the rain? It's way more responsibility than I need. I have to bottle feed it every 4 hours or so, then wipe its genitals so it can pee on me and of course it's feisty and likes to struggle and squirm. I have to admit it has its cute moments, but the pictures doesn't do it justice. It looks more like a rat. I think the fact the eyes aren't open all the way and the ears are still down make it kinda hideous. I am sure I will get an aawwhhh from the cat lovers and some other smart ass comment from everyone else, but tell me you wouldn't have done the same!

Shower Series!

The back and front. Happy HNT!!

Weeding out the freaks

I am wondering.....how safe is it to meet other bloggers? How can you tell if they are scary stalkers or serial killers? In today's world we are all so busy and most often don't have time to meet people in the traditional ways. So, we have turned to the internet as a way of forming friendships and sometimes even relationships. I myself am planning to meet several bloggers this summer. Should I be worried? Well, in this case I don't think so. It's not a date....or a hook up....it's an all-out partyfest. If you don't already know about it, it's the Wedding Party's Summer (beezo/fight) Conference. I already know it's a group of wild crazies, so it's not like I am going into it unprepared. The situations I am talking about are those in which you start e-mailing and then instant messaging and then eventually you start talking on the phone to someone you have lots in common with and feel like you could be attracted to. Now, not all of us have the resources to run background checks (I do, so be afraid), so how do you know if it's okay to meet. I would love to hear your take on it!
If you have had the following conversation with a fellow blogger, then I suggest you sever all ties!!

me: How are you?
him: I'm fine and you? (in background....let me go!)
me: Who was that?
him: That's just the TV
me: Okay, so tell me more about you.
him: Well, I'm not married....really I'm not! I don't have any kids either. I live alone....completely alone. I like long walks, snuggling and watching romantic movies, because I am romantic....yea, I am very romantic. I'm am good looking too. Here is my picture in the March issue of GQ.
me: Oh, wow, I thought you said you were 40? You look about 20 in this picture.
him: I look really young for my age, so do you like to fuck dead people?
me: what?
him: dead people...I would love to watch you do that.
me: I need to go now.
him: Don't go, I like you so much, we should meet!

When it rains it pours!

Well, I woke up at 6am to some serious pounding. Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter. There was marble size hail coming down on my house and my oldest daughter climbing in bed with me. Funny thing, the little one slept right threw it! It never hails in the morning here, it was the weirdest thing. In Wichita, 2 hours from me, they were getting baseball size hail. I have never even seen hail that big, I can't imagine dealing with that first thing in the morning and then having to get ready for work. So, after it calms down I go back in my room and lay down for a minute, when next thing I know I hear some horrible crying outside my bedroom window. I put on a robe and grab a flashlight and head out in the rain. Sure enough, there is a baby kitten with its eyes just barely open and crying. Poor thing is all muddy and wet. SHIT! I said I would never do this again, but I couldn't just leave it. I picked it up and took it in the house and washed it off. Now the damn thing is on my back porch and I have to figure out what to do with it. Some days I totally wish I was a heartless bitch....there are so many of them! Anyway, that's all I wanted to talk about for now, so I hope where you are, it is 70 some degrees with beautiful skies!

Better late than never!

I guess it felt like a leg day. Maybe it was the chicken I had for lunch. Those gams have a 35" inseam, but that's only impressive to short people. Happy HNT!!

Stop yelling at me!

Here's the deal...I left my camera at work so I had nothing to take an HNT with. I was just gonna post an old one, but that's not fair. SO...at lunch time I will go home and shoot my leg or something so I don't get in trouble. In the mean time, I'm gonna oogle at everyone elses pictures...so there!

Weed Wednesday Review

A couple Saturdays ago I was going through my usual cleaning routine and sat down to take a break. I flipped on the T.V. and there was Christie Brinkley telling me how much I was tired of trying to get to the gym and then having to go from machine to machine to hit all the muscle groups. Boy was she right (how did she know?). So, I sat there and listened for a while because I knew that nobody had told her what to say and that it all must be true. Anyway, I watched her work-out on the total gym for a while and it looked so easy. THEN, in walked Chuck Norris (he’s the man!). He told me he had used the Total Gym for years and that was the only thing he used to work out on. Cha-ching, I’m sold! I have actually not bought anything from an infommercial before, but I have wanted something at home that I can work out on that does not take up much space. I called the number and the sales guy gave me a “great deal”, after I told him I didn’t want to pay the first price he quoted me. I know I am the only one he has ever sold the Total Gym to at that price, because I’m special. Well, I wait the 2 weeks and sure enough it shows up at my doorstep. I open the box and the thing is fully assembled (sweet!). I know I am making this a big joke, but seriously this machine is way cool. Of course it will take me a month to figure out the whole pulley system and attachments, but they did send me 4 videos, a wall chart and a flip book, so I am bound to figure it out eventually. I only have 30 days to see if I like it, but I already threw away the box (idiot). So far, my 7 year old has used it twice as much as I have, but I will get there!!

A Good Flogging is Called For!

I have to share something with everyone that irritates the shit out of me. This 16 year old girl in Independence, Kansas (about 3 hours from me), faked her kidnapping and they sent out an Amber Alert all over. I got the damn thing in my e-mail 4 times. I was so worried about the girl and started thinking about how horrible it would be to have to go through that with one of my girls. Her parents were in hell for 15 hours waiting to hear something. Come to find out the little cunt made up the whole thing. Here is the statement the parents made:

"Kelsey wants everyone to know she didn't do this for attention. Teens today are under a great deal of pressure, and we have to keep in mind that kids react, and reach out in many ways. We are so thankful that Kelsey did not choose another path, or other means of dealing with her pressure."

BULLSHIT! Take her ass to jail! They showed her on the local news all smilie eating some pizza standing outside. I wanted to jump through the TV and slap the smile off her face. I wanna know what kind of pressures they have that are so much worse than what we had in High School?! I bet that spoiled brat has never had a good spankin' in her life. I sure hope I am not on this soapbox for no reason....my daughter will probably do something stupid too and then I will feel like an idiot, but I doubt it, my girls are perfect! :)

Published

I am so proud! My daughter's teacher sent several poems into a publishing company and hers was chosen. At first I thought.."maybe they pick all of them", but she told me there were lots of kids in her class that didn't get picked. I am so excited. I am buying 2 copies of the book "Anthology of Poetry" and having her name engraved on it. As soon as she finds a copy of the poem I will post it. It is even a Haiku. Jiggs will find that amusing...he loves my Haikus. Anyway, I don't have much to say other than that, I am still waking up....it's Monday you know! I hope everyone had a great Easter weekend!!

I have a new necklace!

Happy HNT! I am such a tramp, I have no idea why I keep posting my boobs-in-training. I think it's the fun I have trying to take the picture myself. I hung the camera on the back of the bathroom door for this one. :}

The question thing was fun, you guys are crazy. If you want to know anything else, I will keep checking it!

What do you want to know?

I am stealing an idea from my friend Todd. He has many more readers than I do, but it was fun to read the questions and comments he got. If my 5 readers and their 20 other personalities don't stop by today, I will try it again another day. So, here's the deal...you can ask me questions about myself or whatever (I am great at giving advice) and I will answer them honestly unless they become way to uncomfortable....then I will probably make shit up. Anyway, it could be interesting. Happy Hump day!!

I'm Back!

The conference was a success and I had a great time. I hope everyone had a fun and eventful weekend!
We had our meetings at a nature center and during an hour break I got to stroll through their gift shop and walk around the lake. It was very relaxing and peaceful. I took several pictures of the wildlife. Here we see turtles sunning themselves on a log. I spent at least half an hour watching them climb up and knock each other off. It was like a game of king of the mountain. As you can tell, I am very easily amused!
The food was one of the best parts of the whole thing. Lunch was catered and we went to a restaurant for supper. Since it was free I thought I would get my moneys worth, boy was that a mistake. I have totally changed my eating habits in the last month so I can slim down and eating all the stuff on my trip did not agree with me. I spend quite a while in the bathroom my first night and learned my lesson good. On a positive note, when I got on the scale this morning, I was down 4 pounds from Thursday, so that was a sweet good morning for a Monday!
I have also attached a picture of a t-shirt that was in the gift shop. I thought it was hilarious because several of my blog friends have a poo fetish. I would love to be able to send one of the shirts to each of them. If you can’t read the picture, it says “Endangered Feces” and shows various types of animal poo. It’s awesome!! If you want the pictures bigger, just click on them.

I gotta get caught up at work, so hopefully I can stop by tonight and visit you guys!
Peace out.

Out of town and whatnot!

I am heading out to a 3 day conference today. I am so excited to get out of work for a while! I need a break like you would not believe. I wonder if I can have a hooker come to my room like those corporate big wigs do. Do you think I could use "business luncheon" as a description for a business expense? Okay, seriously I am going to miss you guys and I will try and post 2 HNTs next week. Have a great weekend everyone!

Man did this weekend blow!

Saturday started out pretty good. I got a membership for the first time to a small private lake here in town. It’s very nice and you can swim, fish and jet-ski. I only had my 7 year old Emma, because my other daughter went with my mom to Iowa for a mini vacation. So, Emma was excited about having our own place to go fishing and wanted to go right away. We got down to the dock about 5pm and played around and fished for a little while and it started to sprinkle on us. That was kind of fun and it wasn’t cold. The wind was blowing our lines right back at us, so we moved to the other side of the lake. We were there for about 10 minutes and everything went calm. The sky looked pretty calm, so we stayed for a while longer. Then, all of a sudden the sky got pretty black and the wind started to pick up, so I told her it was time to head out. We made it back to our vehicle just in time for it to start down-poaring. I drove about a quarter mile and it started to hail. The radio man said it was pea sized, but obviously he was not in the same place I was. It was at least dime to nickel size. Now, I have lived most of my life in this little town, so I pretty much know every nook and cranny. It took me about 5 seconds to think of the closest cover. It was a huge arched metal canopy that covers 3 grain trucks. I squeezed in between the trucks and shut off my vehicle. It was so dark and the wind was blowing and the hail was pounding on the metal. Next thing I know, 3 more trucks try to squeeze in around me. They started getting out of their trucks and walking around. Emma asked me if we were going to get out. I asked her if she thought it would be safe to get out in a storm with 3 strange men in the dark, she decided it was better just to stay put (smart girl!), so she got out her flashlight and read a story to me, it was cute! Luckily it only lasted about 15 minutes and we headed home. Emma asked if we could fish the next night until it stormed again. I told her we should probably wait a couple weeks until the fish were biting. I have Spring fever so bad and I wish it would hurry up and get warm!